I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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