maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
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you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
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'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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