He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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