Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize