Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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