I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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