do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize