I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize