Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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