woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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