Swine flu. Run for my life!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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