i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
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