I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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