Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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