I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize