id be glad to
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
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My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
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& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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