I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize