No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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