Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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