Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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