new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i wish my penis had a tongue
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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