We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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