yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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