I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize