New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize