Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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