I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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