plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize