Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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