How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm getting married
To pizza
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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