youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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