I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
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Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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