Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
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i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
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Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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