Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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