you're like a bully in the Christmas story
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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