why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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