I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize