i don't plan on having that self control this summer
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
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This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
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I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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