Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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