she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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