It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
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Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
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wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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