just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
operation have a gay friend backfired
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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