Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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