Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize