Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
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At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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