Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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