just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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