Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize