we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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