i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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