I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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