do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize